Lonely Hearts 2022
I’ve been single for a few years now, I consider myself quite the pro. The vast majority of people respond to this admission with sympathy, but if I’m being truly honest I revel in the solitude. Right now, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I read back my intro to last year's column and, perhaps only apparent to me, it is tinged with sadness. I was going through a very minor heartache, amplified by the hopeless isolation of being in a lockdown whilst living alone. I worried I was unlovable and this was confirmed six months later when a date informed me that a need I voiced was a problem, a retaliation some hours later told me I had “a lot going on”.
Being labelled as “too much” is something women are taught to fear, to avoid at all costs. But I am growing tired of ironing out my personality alongside my clothes.
Because I am too much, I do have needs and my brain does have a lot going on. And I, a person who manages to cater to all of that just fine, no longer desire to shrink myself down and pretend otherwise.
Do you think Champagne ever apologises for being too effervescent? Fino Sherry for being too dry? Provence rosé too pale? Do you think that just because their qualities might be “too much” or “not enough” for some, they contort and conceal their ways?
No. They do not.
If Champagne was a still wine it would be flat in every sense of the word, and wouldn’t be the magnificent pairing for oysters (& hash browns!) that it is. If Fino wasn’t as dry then it wouldn’t make for the fantastic aperitif accompaniment for salted snacks that is loved by so many. And if Provence made a rosé any other colour I don’t think it would quite have the yacht status that’s so beloved by Instagram.
For every person that you may be too much for there are many more that you are a perfect match for. My brain may have a lot going on but without it I wouldn’t be half the writer I am today, and those writings pay my bills and give me a freedom of independence I am eternally grateful for. Being single and enjoying it shows I have it in me to walk away from every match that, for whatever reason, doesn’t quite taste right.
I know my perfect pairings well, I have a friendship circle full of them. And that makes me the best person for the job of pairing you up with a match made in vino heaven this Valentine’s season. So let’s get started.
I love Sitcoms, beer, coffee and the idea that the world will eventually be a better place. I don’t take myself seriously and would love someone who also isn’t that bothered. Let’s do something competitive so I can fail hard and be the worst at bowling/mini golf/(insert other thing) that you ever did see.
What a wonderful set of interests! My favourite wines are those that suit a wide range of tastes and that don’t take themselves too seriously. My first thought was Prosecco, but I actually think that a hybrid (compound drinking awoooo!) would be more fun here, especially if you’re a fan of beer. Renegade is an urban winery based in London who, whilst definitely competing to make quality, have a lot of fun with the products they make. Bethnal Bubbles 2.1 is a hopped English Sparkling made from Solaris grapes infused with Nelson Sauvin and Citra hops. Fruity, fun and with a lot to say for itself I can think of no other beverage I would rather play mini golf with tbh.
I enjoy long walks on the beach, moshing in mosh pits, speaking like a Victorian gentleman and crisp sandwiches. My ideal date is quaffing some delicious beverages, watching Buffy The Vampire Slayer together and just generally not crying.
I too am a huge Buffy The Vampire Slayer fan and mark a date down as a success if I get through it tear free so I’m thrilled to meet a like-minded individual here! May I be so bold as to recommend a wine that not only goes great with crisps, but tastes a little bit like one too? The white wines made in the Cassis region of France are a rarer find (which I think you deserve) and are grown by the sea so have this lovely sea-breeze-caressing-your-hair freshness to them. Tasting notes include pillowy soft almond croissants, preserved lemons and dried thyme, as well the last crumbs left in a bag of ready salted crisps. Tastes great before, during, and after a big cry.
I'm a man nearing his 30's. I have a particular distaste for Tik Tok and vinyl records. I enjoy strolling along the beach, listening to the waves, watching the doggos pass by. A perfect date is an unknown restaurant, with unknown dishes, and an unknown ending. But also, a lot of campari.
Anyone who is a friend of Campari is a friend of mine too! As someone with a dislike of both old and new media, let's try and pair you with something that is somehow neither. Jura is a well established region in France with some wonderfully unique wines that are beginning to gain popularity but not to the point where social media is saturated by them (yet!). Vin Jaune shares similarities to sherry in that it is a wine made in collaboration with yeast and oxygen, but it remains unfortified. With dry & delicate tasting notes of fennel seeds, green apple and flaky walnut skins it is perfect for someone who welcomes the unexpected and the unknown.
I look for someone who I can take to the cinema to watch the latest MCU film and geek out with. Geeky life.
Geeky life is the only life when you begin to immerse yourself into the wonderful world of wine so I respect what it is you are searching for. One of my favourite things that I do with my friends is have a deliciously boozy dinner before taking a trip to the cinema. There’s something about red wine and film that always pairs so well to me, I think it’s because it's the wine equivalent of settling into a particularly comfy sofa to immerse yourself in a new world. If you want a red wine with more fact, fiction and statistics than you know what to do with then look no further than a Bordeaux. The wine geek’s wine, Bordeaux comes with a full, borderline cinematic universe to get lost in, with some seriously complex and layered tasting notes to match.
Thank you to everyone who wrote in, I’m sorry I couldn’t get to you all. Happy Valentine’s Day, please love and drink responsibly x
