Lonely Hearts
I’m probably not the best person to be writing Burum’s Valentine’s Day post.
I once spent a counselling session explaining to my therapist that as I am not owed love I find it pointless living my life in search of it when I could be investing myself elsewhere. I roll my eyes at public displays of affection and for a friend’s event I was the only person not allocated a plus one because they said they couldn’t see me needing one.
Sometimes it’s easier to loudly declare you don’t want something than it is to quietly admit you’re scared you’ll never find it.
Whereas romantic pairings are deliberately alien to me I thrive on wine pairing. A previous job saw me matching wines with a ten course tasting menu that changed daily, sometimes multiple times, with very little notice. I loved recommending wine to people based on their mood, their day, what outfit they’re wearing. The bar manager and myself would play this game where we would guess people’s wine order before we’d go over to the table. I was right more often than I was wrong.
Wine pairing relies on a tangible type of chemistry, a formula that, once learnt, can be replicated time and time again. Acidity balanced with salt. Alcohol balanced with fat. Tannins softened and flavours enhanced. When in doubt, always champagne.
Humans, on the other hand, are far more complex.
I know what I’d like to be paired with. Kindness, mainly. Then humour and friendship, comfort and safety, also joy, thoughtfulness and vulnerability. I tell myself it’s not possible, but I’m lying, I receive these things every day. From my support bubble who picks me up for dinner with a bunch of daffodils, to my best friends who sit with me whilst I clear my heart of something not meant to be and to the messages I receive that say, for whatever reason, I thought of you today.
What I’m trying to say here is that, if you’re like me, you may not be experiencing love or connection in it’s most obvious ways right now. That doesn’t mean it’s not there. It just looks a little different to the love-heart-soul-mate-candle-lit ideal we’re sold this time of year.
In true Burum fashion we’re going to run with this thought and provide some of you with love and connection in the form of a wine that we think will pair with you well. Hopefully providing you with an alternate form of companionship whilst you ride out this lockdown.
For those of you who trusted us enough to write in, thank you. I’ve tried my best to pair you up with something that will both compliment and comfort. Feel free to let me know how I did.
Beer drinking cat lover, likes long walks and holidays outdoors seeks a new adventure with something fresh and contemporary that will expand my (currently limited) horizons.
You’ve written to me at an excellent time, beer drinking cat lover. I’m currently falling down a rabbit hole of co-fermentation and beer/wine/cider hybrids. I came to beer from a wine background and the first few beers I found myself drawn to were Mikkeller’s range of Riesling co-ferments. To me they were a safe space of entry into the world of beer and now, some years later, I feel a little more sure of myself. I drink Pilsners by choice now! I own more than one beer glass! I recently drank a White Stout and I loved it! Who is she?!
Anyway, I digress. You say your horizons are currently limited and I think you’re doing yourself a disservice. As a beer lover you’ll already have the tools to taste and smell and appreciate wine. You just need the confidence to get going.
To start you off, may I suggest what is probably one of the freshest and most contemporary UK wine/beer co-ferments right now? Exale Brewing have paired up with Tillingham winery to produce a pale ale fermented on pinot grigio, aptly named Gris a Gris. Hops and grapes combined. Drink it and take note of what is familiar to you and what is not. Let your response to the unfamiliar guide you in your future wine choices. Feel that horizon expand.
(You also may enjoy this: Mikkeller have started making wines of their own, they have this gorgeous yeastiness to them, which, alongside quite a sharp acidity, comes across all french toast and buck’s fizz, like a very good breakfast.)
29yo baker, serving up hot buns. Loves the outdoors, Wikipedia deep dives and lunging. Looking for fun with a fellow queer who will laugh at my bullshit while we remain trapped in our fleshy prisons. Must smell good. No time wasters or terfs.
This made me think of that scene in Schitt’s Creek where David explains his pansexuality to Stevie through the medium of red and white wine. Then that made me think of the scene where Moira is filming the advert for the fruit wine. And then I lost a few hours of my day to rewatching my favourite episodes of Schitt’s Creek.
I’m back now and I think I have an answer for you. You’re a baker, you work with your senses, and smell is important to you. This could be an opportunity to fob you off with a Viognier blend, it’s an extremely perfumed grape, but I find they’re quite headache inducing and as requested, I’m not here to waste your time.
Instead, I’m going to suggest a Gewürztraminer. Mainly because it’s fun to say out loud, but also because it smells of rosewater and lavender, of ripe lychees and chewy mouthfuls of Turkish Delight. Gewürztraminer is a white grape, but has this gorgeous pink hue to its skin that results in a wine that shines gold, almost copper at times. It’s also worth noting that it loves the outdoors so much it has to be planted in colder climates in an attempt to cool down it’s enthusiasm. I hope it makes a good lunging partner to you.
28 year old neuroscientist-turned-podcaster and presenter. Spicy redhead who nurtures a sourdough starter and lifts heavy things in her spare time. Looking for someone who is active, independent and can make me laugh an unnatural amount. Mustn’t mind feigning interest in my bad impressions.
My first thought upon reading this was that I really want this smart, strong and caring person to be my friend. My second thought was that I would like to set you up with a sparkling wine with a yeastiness to rival any sourdough starter. A Crémant du Jura to be precise.
The thing I love about sparkling wines is that they are always excited to meet you. They fizz, they froth and they flow, bringing out the best in you whilst they do. I’ve found that wherever there is sparkling wine present, laughter is never too far away. You can hit them with your worst impressions imaginable; those bubbles will still stream excitedly through your glass.
You’re a person who values independence and I respect that. Whereas a lot of sparkling wines are blends of grapes, most white Crémant du Juras are exclusively Chardonnay. They appreciate that whilst there is a time and place for blending, sometimes in order to shine ones brightest you need to do things on your own. They’re also smart wines, complex, bringing their fair share of conversation to the table. I have a feeling you’ll get on quite well.
Independent, fun-loving Aquarius who enjoys period dramas, browsing expensive furniture and avoiding my responsibilities. Looking for a warm, cuddly and charming ginger - a laid back entertainer. Ideally a handsome socialist who loves to cook for me. A sop but not a drip!
I’m gonna level with you here, I read ginger and my brain immediately went to orange wine for the obvious reasons and now I can’t shake that thought off. So that’s what I’m pairing you with today. Luckily for you, orange wines are as entertaining, visually pleasing and friendly as the laid back ginger you desire.
People love to write off orange wine as a trend, a wine that’s fleeting in it’s fashion, only loved for how it looks on Instagram. In fact, orange wine’s origins date back at least 5000 years and it’s skin contact approach to winemaking is one of the most original methods out there. Something I think a period drama lover would appreciate.
Whilst I can’t speak for it’s political preferences, orange wines are HUGE food wines. They’re well-rounded and receive pretty much all food with warmth, acceptance and love. I’ve yet to find a better dinner companion to be honest. I doubt you would either.
An outgoing introvert looking for love. Interested in cats, music and cooking. I’m a chill person, so ideally looking for someone who doesn't take themselves too seriously, who just wants to have a fun time and be silly.
Originally I paired you with what I think is a very fun wine, a Beaujolais. Beaujolais wines are light and bright and they don’t take themselves too seriously. On occasion their taste can be reminiscent of a pick and mix stand, I’m talking parma violets, foam bananas, hard boiled sweets, fruit pastilles. You get the picture.
But then, I remembered the silliest wine in the whole world.
The silliest wine in the whole world, in my opinion, is called Gik Live. What makes it so silly, I hear you ask? Well, for starters, it's blue.
Yes, you read that right. Gik Live is a blue wine. It gets its colour from an indigo dye as well as a blue coloured compound that comes from the skin of red grapes, called anthocyanin. It’s slightly sweet, very low in alcohol and it screams joy. It’s incapable of taking itself too seriously, making it very much the wine-ification of a fun time. I think you’d get along splendidly.
Thank you to everyone who submitted their Lonely Hearts Ads x
